I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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