There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
