i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You left your phone here
Wait...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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