please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize