He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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