it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
