More tranny stories later!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
