On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
