Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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