talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
