There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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