I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
