i jhust puked up my retainher.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He uses pillows to masturbate.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
