yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We just shotgunned beers for America
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
