There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
