I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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