it wasn't lemon gatorade
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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