oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
