Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I enjoy the company of your penis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize