I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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