After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
