i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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