you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
