I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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