Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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