our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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