Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
