your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize