call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
