what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
