Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
