I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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