Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
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During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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