she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
