I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
