thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
