so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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