Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
