So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
