You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
