is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Please don't give away my fajitas
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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