I'm gonna have a badass scar
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize