i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
