Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the day after is always just damage control
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
