I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize