She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
