You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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