oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
