Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
