she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
