We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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