you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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