Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
