We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
