I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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