just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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