so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize