you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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