Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
