i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
