Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
