i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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