He is an equal opportunity slut.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
