the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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