You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
